A Team

No no, not the A-Team. That was a different thing.

Although looking at that picture, I see me all sexy and sultry in the center with the off-the-shoulder blouse, goofy Abe with the big smile on my right, terrorizing strong Sam with the Mohawk down below, handsome husband behind me to my left and ... the weird old guy with his hand on his face .... maybe I am destined to adopt a weird old guy next.

Okay, the team I really meant to talk about was the team I found in the meeting we had this week with Mr. T/Sam's teacher, principal, and the school learning/behavior specialist.

I went into the meeting extremely nervous. Not about what I'd hear ... I already know what a meeting about Sam is going to be like. I was nervous about how I would react. This crap is so emotional for me. When someone starts listing all the annoying and disruptive behaviors Sam is exhibiting, I kind of freak out. Most often I end up crying. Which is embarrassing. But I tend to take it personally. I feel like people (teachers, most often) are giving me this list with one of two subtexts: "This is obviously the result of poor parenting" or "You must know how to fix this, right?" I don't have an answer for either imaginary subtext which is probably just as well because neither one is valid anyway, and my head knows that. It just freaks out my mommy heart.

But things started looking up almost right away in this meeting. First of all my husband showed up. Thank you, students of Environment in Crisis for not hanging around too long and letting your T.A. get the heck out of there. (Isn't Environment in Crisis a horribly melodramatic name for a class? I mean, good grief. Let's not pretend to be objective or anything. Myself, I try to recycle and stuff, but my dad is a mining engineer and probably due to my upbringing, I just can't swallow the whole "earth first" thing hook line and sinker.) Anyway when Glenny walked in I knew I would be stronger. That says something, doesn't it? I should remember that at other times when he is annoying the hell out of me.

Then the learning and behavior specialist came in and it was a lady I knew from church -- not from our ward, but from a stake choir. A super nice lady. Who had sweet wonderful things to say about me to the teacher and principal. Somebody on my side! And then she started the meeting by having us all list positive things about Sam. Okay, looking back I know these are all professional techniques she uses so parents will not freak out. That's okay! I appreciate a professional who will help me not freak out! I love her for it!

I think thanks to her leadership, the whole tone of the meeting was very positive. We spent most of the time not listening to the frustrations of the teacher, which heaven knows I have heard already and school has only been going for a month. (I always feel like telling teachers to try being locked up in a house with this child for five years BEFORE he was on medication, because that's what I did from 1999 to 2004! Welcome to my world!! Of course I never actually say this.) Instead we spent our 45 minutes talking about ways to help Sam. Actually help! A multi-pronged approach that is not all about medication -- though it includes a change in that area -- but also includes sessions with the school counselor, techniques for the teacher, tools we can use at home. I feel so good about all of this. I feel like I am not the only one who cares about Sam's success. I have a team.

Sometimes when things get rough for Sam at school my first instinct is to pull him out and teach him at home. It is so hard to watch him deal with an environment that is difficult for him. But I can't do that at this point in life, and when I really think about it I know this is the best thing for him now. We are going to teach him to cope with the school environment. I know we have found good helpers. A team. And that means a great deal to me.

Today is Sam's first day on 20mg Adderall XR. Wish us luck and no side effects -- gulp ...