Tomorrow I go into court for Z for the first time. I didn't even know I could ask to attend previous hearings. So this is all new.
It's an interim hearing, and we expect that they will order weekend visits. I sure hope they don't start this weekend. Can you imagine anything to ruin G's Father's Day any worse? He loves that baby girl so much. And I believe to my core that she needs a good, loving, stable daddy. It breaks my heart to think there's a chance she could be denied that in her life when he adores her so.
Back to the hearing: I am feeling like any word I say tomorrow could be the proverbial flap of a butterfly's wing. I'm gonna be praying extra hard tonight that I can choose my words correctly and not create any undesired implications.
Last night I had the unbidden thought that maybe the best way for us to have Z in our family permanently is to let the system work, let S have her chance, and be ready to get Z back if or when S can't make it work. A prompting? That, I have to figure out.
Any prayers, good energy, or whatever you've got to send my way would be most welcome. It is a strange feeling, being where I am right now.