Tuesday, January 22, 2008

When all else fails, bullet

My friend, the bulleted list, would like to give you an update on my life.
  • Me and my DeWalt fixed the box springs, which suffered from a splintered support system. Once I took the fabric off the underside, I could see that it was very cheaply made with thin pine boards and nails, not screws - surprising considering what was spent on this mattress set. Anyway now I love my bed again. Ahhhhhhh.
  • I did nine loads of laundry this weekend, including clean sheets for the whole famdamily.
  • Regarding us, digging in:
    • We have an appointment to see an attorney on Thursday regarding Z and the second cousin and the upcoming TPR hearing.
    • The more I think about it the more I think the county is basically out to screw us over so that they can place two children (Z with the second cousin and some other child with us) instead of one. If they would be nice they could place another child with us, assuming we still live here when Z turns two later this year. As it stands, G is resolved never to work with them again and I am leaning the same way. I am trying to figure out how to tell them this without sounding like quite such a raging bwitch. I am hoping the attorney will have some ideas.
    • I am also planning to have her review our applications for de facto parent status for Z and K and make sure they get on the schedule and that the judge doesn't just throw them out, which is what happened before. And I need to have her review some letters we have drafted to the social workers to make sure we are not saying anything that will jeopardize future action if it is needed, and tell us what if anything we can do if the social workers decide to place Z with the cousin and give K's mom a chance.
    • Our great prayer is still that the second cousin will realize that her plan to adopt Z is not actually in Z's best interests now that Z is 14 months old and attached to a family. I think this could, maybe happen. Or maybe she will not pass her homestudy. She is not all the way through, yet.
    • We have had amazing spiritual experiences and promises about this situation. Truly amazing, dreams and temple experiences and you name it. There is a huge chasm between those experiences and the current reality. One step enough for me ... right now I think maybe this is how we learn what faith really is. Not wishful thinking coming from our own desires, but trusting God's promises. Even when it seems impossible. Am I brave enough to do that? It really takes a lot of courage because it will hurt so much if I am mistaken.
    • If the steps don't look like they are going the way we want them to, we are fighting this. We just are. How could I face myself - and my kids - if I did not do everything in my power to keep this child?
  • A is going to be tested for the gifted program. I will also elect to have S retested. He almost made it last year but his writing skills were not quite up to par. This year he has improved so much, it could happen. The program is at the same school where S bussed for kindergarten three years ago. Way the heck across town. I have mixed feelings about this but I would go for it if both my big boys make it in. If nothing else it would mean I could drop them off half an hour earlier in the morning to take the bus from their current neighborhood school to the program school, and start my workday at a normal time. Then again, it may be moot depending on the outcome of various career and location questions. We shall see.
  • Weight Watchers. I'm telling this big secret. I joined last week. It is easy for me during the week, hard on weekends. OK, so I know now what I need to work on!
  • We put the Wii away last night. I think we will not take it out again until Friday. I am looking forward to this. However I think we are also going to get a couple more remotes so we can play more as a family.
  • I just remembered I have $45 in Target gift cards that I was going to give as Christmas presents that I never got around to. SCORE - perhaps I can replace our DVD player(s). One pooped out and the other one got sat on and dropped and started randomly flashing on and off. Then S misinterpreted my injunction not to smash them with a hammer to mean that it would be ok if he simply took them completely apart with a screwdriver. I didn't even get mad. Because he really did think I meant that would be OK.
  • Basically, we cannot keep anything nice to save our lives. My home is one eternal repair job. I am trying to just accept it.
  • Z can walk! She looks like a chubby little cream-and-chocolate straight-legged Frankenstein with rosy cheeks and long bangs in her eyes. Superdecute! She is so pleased with herself.
  • Remember when K couldn't talk? Now he can't shut up. Saturday I tickled him under one arm. He said to me, "I do have another one," and raised his other arm to be tickled. Just delightful. Witnessing the progress of my children is honestly my very greatest joy. He adores hot cocoa, so I bought Ovaltine. Vitamins and chocolate, made for each other.
  • I re-made the chicken and pumpkin enchiladas this week with caramelized onion and cumin and cloves. Also my blender jar was broken by a curious now-toddler, so the sauce was chunky instead of smooth. Still, much better.
  • I have so much excitement and dreaming that I can't even share right now. Remember how I can't blog about my husband's career? I will tell you, I think he is really going to be done with his Ph.D. before fall. I think my job situation will change one way or another. And I think I may have an actual home of my own, somewhere, somehow.
That's all from the bff of the lazy writer.


kris... said...

I'm still praying for you and Z all the time. I can't believe she is walking! That's AWESOME! She needs to be yours permanently... just so you can share more pics of her unbelievable cuteness!

Lisa said...

I am so sorry you are going through all this stress with Z.
K sounds like he is just blossoming though.
I will keep praying for you and your family Ana!

WatchMeLoseWeight said...

HUGS!!! Just know you are in my thoughts and prayers!


kate said...

Ana, I love your blog and reading about your family (and your delicious recipes). I'm a family law attorney in Texas, and although each states system is different, because the federal government mandates certain benchmarks for the dependency system, there are some things that are uniform across states. I think seeing a local attorney is a wonderful idea and he/she should be able to answer your questions competently, but if you want to talk with me about anything I'd be happy to do so. If you have questions I can't answer, I'll let you know.

*~JESSIE~* said...

Wow you have a lot going on. I hope things with Z work out well.