If I were really dedicated to this blog I would make up a whole song about training the brain instead of the rain in Spain. Or maybe a whole musical, "My Fair ADHD." (Actually, that has some potential.)S is struggling. I don't tell most people this. It is so difficult. He missed his field trip today because of wild behavior from Tuesday. He has been in the office twice this week. I've gotten two calls from the teacher. Our mornings have been miserable. He doesn't want to take his medication and he doesn't want to go to school. It makes me want to cry -- well, actually it does make me cry.
I recognize, though, that this is all about overcoming my motherly mourning. I can't wallow in the difficulty of having a child with special needs, even though it is difficult and sad and sucks in many ways. I have to pick myself up and help him because guess what? It's not about me. 'Member I said that yesterday? It's not me. Still saying that to myself. It's not me. I am still perennially afraid that others will judge me by my children's bad behavior. But it's not me. It is HIM. My goal is to help him, not to make myself look good or make my life easier.
Well today I am proud and happy because I have done three things.
- I have not cried. This is bigger than you think.
- I have made an appointment with the local psychologist who does neurofeedback for kids with ADHD. She was wonderful on the phone, and I'm so excited about this. (If you want to read more check here and here.) We go in on Saturday morning at 8.
- I have decided to ask my boss about shifting my schedule on a permanent basis so that I will not be stressed out trying to arrive at work by 8 in the morning. I will be asking her not to expect me until 9. That way if I arrive earlier it is just a bonus. I will skip lunch most days (I do that most days already anyway) and still leave between 5 and 5:30.
5 comments:
Those sound like solid plans Ana.
I just want to hug you because I know how very tough it is not to blame yourself for the behavior of a child with ADHD.
((BIG SQUEEZE))
I'm excited about the neurofeedback, that sounds so helpful!
S is not a RAD kid -- I feel really strongly about that. One person once suggested it to me but I have done some reading about it and really feel it's just not the right dx for him. ADHD, yes, and maybe something on the mild side of the autism spectrum like Asperger's. But I really feel like all we can do is work with what we see and help the best we can ... it's possible that prenatal history and adoption made a difference, but I don't feel it's helpful to dwell on those aspects.
Now, when we get foster kids ... THEN I will need to learn more about attachment issues. Almost certainly.
It is very hard to feel that people judge you by your children and their behaviors (or even judge your children by certain behaviors instead of looking to see beyond the negative behaviors). I am very proud of you for working to find solutions...and putting them into action.
My thoughts will be with you over the next few days.
Oh Ana! I could just feel your *struggle* in that post!! Well, acutally that you are working your way out of this (YAY!!)!!!
I'm sorry that some people might judge you for S's behavior!! I love your new attitude and goals!! And I hope that *I* will remember to never judge people for their kids behaviors!
Good Luck and (((BIG HUGS))))! I think the adversary really works on us when we are trying to do something great! (hint hint, your adoption plans!)
Post a Comment