Pride goeth before a lost leg of lamb

Place: Ana's kitchen
Time: Easter Sunday, 12:30 p.m.

Ana picks up the phone and dials the local grocery.

STORE LADY: Save Mart Number 123, this is {unintelligible}.

ANA: Hi, I have a question. Well, this is a little unusual. Yesterday, I bought a leg of lamb at your store, and I can't find it. I think I may have left it in the cart in the parking lot.

STORE LADY: {silence, muffled laughter}

ANA: I just wanted to find out if there's a way I can see if I actually left it there.

STORE LADY: {still stifling laughter} Just bring in your receipt, ma'am, and we'll replace it for you.

I could not find the receipt. I looked in the garbage inside and outside, and in my purse, which is almost scarier than the garbage. I think the receipt may have been in the bag with the meat. Needless to say I did not go into the store and beg for a free leg of lamb with no proof that I had ever actually purchased one. With a receipt, no problem. But without, na-uh.

So that was $13 worth of meat, folks, and I had big plans for it. That's so much money for me! My circumstances generally require thrift, and I normally have a $2/pound rule for all meats except fish. This was the first time I have ever purchased lamb.

Now, I have lost many things before. Usually they are keys, wallets, cell phones, pretty normal things to lose. This is officially the first time I have ever lost a leg of lamb. I think it pretty much takes the cake. Maybe that's what I get for getting so cocky.

So that is how it came to pass that I humbled myself and made baked chicken breasts for Easter dinner. I still marinated them in orange juice and fresh thyme. But overall it was pretty disappointing.