Monday, November 05, 2007

My new favorite number

It's 36.

I'm still only 33. Only!

But 36 is the case code for adoptions. Also the new number on Z's file. S did not show at the last court date and the judge (finally!) said enough.

There has been stuff going on with S that I have not been comfortable posting about. Now that I know her, I speculate and share less about her. That's a good thing. But it also means you will have to trust me when I say there are some credible reasons to believe that she will not stay clean long term and is not equipped to parent Z.

Termination of S's parental rights is tentative for February, if I understand correctly. I know how sad this is. I do, I really do. I have said goodbye and never expected to see Z again. I know how much that sucks. I just can't feel it right now. I hope I can be forgiven for that.

Anybody got a WOOT!?


WatchMeLoseWeight said...

Of course no one is happy that a mother and daughter have to part, but that was never YOUR choice. You have served your job as a foster parent perfectly, loving Z and looking out for her best interest. No forgiveness necessary in my book.


SalGal said...

Pretend this is in 72pt. sized font:


Alisa said...

I am with Kate of course it is a tragedy for S...but WHOOT! You will be a wonderful mom for Miss have balanced this whole thing amazingly as I have watched from afar....I am so happy for you! Keep us posted!

Bek said...

That is the tricky part of adoption/foster care, huh? No one wants it to happen, but we know that S has had opportunity after opportunity to get Z and has had more help than most people get (and more chances). He not having Z doesn't have anything to do with you, really.

I am so happy that she will get to stay in the family that has had her since birth. You are a part of her story.... good for you. Of course, S is in our prayers and we hope that she gets the help she neeeds... will there be any contact after it all is said and done?

Who Am I? said...

It's sad for S and I get that. But here's a WOOT from me just the same.

Denise said...

That is fan-freaking-tastic! I'm so HAPPY for you! I understand the mixed feelings, but if she's going to lose her child anyway, what a blessing that you will get her! Z deserves a good home.

Tammy said...

Oh my Ana... the two sides... the bittersweet... I know from our situations, though not foster-adopt, the feeling of being sad for their other mothers because you wish for them an other life, other choices and the ability/will/whatever to make those choices, but the joy of knowing that the precious one you know and love will be in your life most likely for always.

I am hoping the best for Z and right now, 'woot'ing with my dear friend (and crying a little while I'm at it, again for the bittersweet of it all.)

Marta said...

I am so happy for Z, and SO happy for you! You definitely deserve eachother,


Kristine said...

That would be my new favorite number too.

God is amazing.
You are a strong, compassionate woman...and have made a place in your heart for both S and more importantly, for Z.
May things continue on this path so that Z may be yours eternally.