My day off

The reason I don't take days off very often: you always pay. You really do.

I had a great day -- got a bunch of errands done, hung out with my littles, and had lunch, Trader Joe's and a bookstore jaunt with Sal. It was great.

Tonight I had a reporter call me at 8 p.m. trying to set up at the last minute to go up in the mountains with a bunch of professors tomorrow. I did a mad scramble while cooking dinner for G and me and yelling at kids to go brush their teeth, and I think, maybe, it might work. Maybe!

And then I checked my email (what a dummy) and found that the brochure I've been working on for a couple of weeks with a firm deadline of today finally arrived and the print quality was decidedly subpar. It makes me look like a moron, and you know, I was just trying to fill in because the designer/print coordinator was overbooked. I should so know better. I mean, I didn't do the graphic design - I subbed it out to a freelancer we know and trust, and it just all went to crap. I'm upset because I have been working so hard to earn the trust of the group we did this for -- and I'm very afraid they're going to pull back because of this. I guess a lot will depend on how I handle it now. Maybe when I wake up tomorrow I will know how.

I told Sally I am having a Springsteen obsession right now. I was not really into the Boss when he was so super popular in the '80s; I was kinda too young to get it. But now I think he is one of the great, great songwriters. Plus he always reminds me of Pittsburgh - the whole gritty realism of the place. Anyway the new album, Magic, is great. Super great. But what I really can't quit singing to myself is the song I heard in the grocery store on Saturday - this one. I can't embed it - wah!

I mean, this thing is running in my head over and over. And the weird thing is, it's not because I identify with it so much, but because I know somebody else who really might. I think it is freakish how much other people's problems bother me sometimes.

At least I kept myself awake on the way back from my afternoon escapades, singing the "look at me baby" part and pretending I was on American Idol. I could so rock that.

I hold you in my arms as the band plays
What are those words whispered baby just as you turn away
I saw you last night out on the edge of town
I wanna read your mind and know just what I've got in this new thing I've found

So tell me what I see when I look in your eyes
Is that you baby or just a brilliant disguise

I heard somebody call your name from underneath our willow
I saw something tucked in shame underneath your pillow
Well I've tried so hard baby but I just cant see
What a woman like you is doing with me
So tell me what I see when I look in your eyes
Is that you baby or just a brilliant disguise

Now look at me baby struggling to do everything right
And then it all falls apart when out go the lights
I'm just a lonely pilgrim I walk this world in wealth
I want to know if its you I don't trust cause I damn sure don't trust myself

Now you play the loving woman I'll play the faithful man
But just don't look too close into the palm of my hand
We stood at the altar the gypsy swore our future was right
But come the wee wee hours maybe baby the gypsy lied
So when you look at me you better look hard and look twice
Is that me baby or just a brilliant disguise

Tonight our bed is cold
I'm lost in the darkness of our love
God have mercy on the man
Who doubts what he's sure of