Monday, September 12, 2011


  1. I did not sleep well. I have a lot of problems with racing brain syndrome. When I take melatonin I have dreams where I am screaming at people. Usually they are pretty telling dreams and I really cannot deal with that right now.
  2. I have a kid who needs a dosage increase but is already at the maximum dosage for his medication. ADHD parents have some clue what I'm talking about. He is grounded until Wednesday and has detention for the next three days for yelling in the hallway at school. We have already spent thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours on therapy this year. I'm not sure where else to go from this point. I am grateful that he is more functional than some other kids I know. I am not grateful that his issues are invisible and often people (including me) have unreasonable expectations of him. I am confused about what my expectations should be. I am not feeling very confident as a mom lately.
  3. Said kid flooded the basement storage room over the weekend by sticking the backyard hose in the dryer vent pipe. I am grateful that my dryer still works but not grateful to be washing every towel I own today. And I am trying hard not to think about mold.
  4. When I go to class at the Y I am more the speed of the 50-somethings than the other 30-somethings. Any 30-somethings in the same kind of shape as me want to go and start being my class buddy? I'm getting a bad inferiority complex.
  5. Speaking of age, as I approach the next decade my chin has decided it would be fun to start growing whiskers. I called an electrolysis lady. She told me to stop plucking and call her back in a couple of weeks. So now I shave, like a man, and am working myself up to another embarrassing phone call. Did I mention I have telephonophobia anyway?
  6. Montana is smoking. You cannot see the mountains. The air is gray. My throat hurts. My nose is bleeding a couple times a day. I worry a great deal about my two asthmatic kids. I don't even have the energy to worry about the poor firefighters. I am tired of this.
  7. My preschooler still has not started preschool. We pay for the whole month of September but she doesn't get to go until this Thursday. She is so bored when all her brothers are in school and she has no one to bug but me and our slightly mentally challenged but sweet and sainted dog. It is tantrum city around here. All three of us need preschool in a bad way.
I thought I might get to ten reasons why today sucks, but past seven I would be scraping. And when you already have seven things to complain about, why scrape for more?

On the bright side, it's my girls' weekend in Park City this weekend. I hope it's not smoky.


Denise said...

Sometimes everything hits at once, doesn't it? I understand much of what you're going through. Can you feel the waves of empathy surging through the computer?

The good news is, Park City is supposed to have decent weather, and at the moment there aren't any fires or anything, so hopefully it will be fresh, clean air for your overburdened respiratory system. Smoke sucks.

See you soon! Yay!
P.S. the word verification for this post says "subpant". For some reason, I find it humorous.

Julia Harps said...

you brave woman you. that was an honest post. I felt your pain. I hope things look brighter soon.

Jackie said...

Sometimes it is so hard to be the mom. Be the one responsible for so many little people and not be able to feel like you should even be responsible for yourself. However, that being said..... you are truly one of the best mom's I know. You inspire me, amaze me and help me feel like this madness that surounds me might actually be "normal". You are allowed to be in the dumps, you are allowed to have these days!!! Just know tht you are not alone and YOU ARE A WONDERFUL MOM!!! *hugs*

annie said...

Yikes. That was honest and non sugar coated and real and normal. Hang in there. You are a great person and if I lived closer I'd want to go to the Y with you. :o) I go the gym by myself at 6:30am after I drop James off at seminary.... alone. I turn my ipod up really loud and get in my own world and drown out even the sound of my feet on the treadmill. Good luck and hang in there.

Miriam said...

I hope you had a good weekend. I have been thining about what to say, and if it is worth saying anything and if I am too late.

I think there are two things still worth it.
1. I wanted to scream in the halls every day that I was in Junior High. As an adult looking back, I understand why. It was sort of like a prison with quick, hard violence, micromanagement, confinement, cafeteria, and busses. There was a lot of good there too, and I think it is a good place to go, but there a lot of reasons to scream.

Even still, I want to scream most days at work. Instead, I hang up Banksy art and my own subversive creations in the hallways. It is my quiet way of screaming. Maybe there are no quiet ways for your child to scream.

2. You are a role model for me in many ways. I think you are one of the best parents I know and part of it is your ability to roll with the punches and keep doing what is in the best interest of your children. You are selflessly loving in how you raise them. You investigate every likely avenue to ensure their success Your children ARE making progress as a result. You are doing great.

3. Okay...I have 3. Forget the 30 something crowd, I went to the gym and the 60 yr olds were outdoing me. You sound like you are in better shape than me if you can keep up with the 60 yr olds.