We have met birthmom T and sister S before, but in an abbreviated way (at placement on June 1, 2001) and in a hurried way (when she visited Utah in October 2004 and we made a quick trip there to see her). This time we had almost four days to be together - really together, because she stayed with us in our tiny house - and get to know each other. And we love each other more than ever. We are alike in so many ways and most of all we see more and more similarities between A and his birthfamily. It is fun. It's not always easy, especially when it comes time to say goodbye. But it is so good for all of us. T remains sure of her adoption decision.We love getting to know her.
A couple of people - friends who, like us, are involved with the foster care system - have asked us if it feels safe to us. Absolutely it does. But I don't know if I'd choose to have the birthparents of any of my other kids stay with us. I wish they were as wonderful and stable and trustworthy and loving as T, so I could. Complicated life, darn it.